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Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

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how do people make like hundreds of friends I can’t even make a grilled cheese with out burning it

Girl: I’m really becoming quite the mechanic..

*pops hood and doesn’t prop it up*


Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?

"The highest qualities of character… must be earned."


boys cry
girls masturbate
boys can like pink and not be gay
girls can have short hair and not be a lesbian
boys can like ballet
girls can like video games
boys can be hot without a six pack
girls can be hot without a hairless body
boys can have hair down to their waists
girls can have stretch marks, curves and back fat

gender doesn’t determine what you can and cannot enjoy, what you can and cannot look like or what you can and cannot do

I’m gonna come into your house,
Go to your freezer,
& take all the sticks off your corn dogs.
Then shit on everything you love!

I never got that orbit gum commercial..

"Eat. Drink. Chew. Orbit!"

Why would I do anything but chew that shit?

I finally get it now tho!!

"Eat some stanky food. Chew orbit. Drink to much alcohol. Chew orbit. Need something to chew on? Yeaaah chew orbit.."